Absence, and new pieces, and commission stress

I apologize to my tens of readers, that I haven't been very prominent here. I'm doing ok in school, although I may be having minor debt problems soon. Hopefully things will balance out.

My niece is growing so much! She's 13 months now.. time flies. I'm hoping to do a few paintings featuring her soon!

Lately I've gotten several commissions from people, who are interested in one thing or another and I fear I may let things fall on top of me without a recovery plan. I'm going to try to get started soon, and then halt the reception of commissions the first of November. That way, I'll have a month before Christmas/Yule to get of the "gifts" done for people who need them for the Holidays.

Illuminate

Nyx

Photo of my newest piece "The Fountain of Forgiveness"

The Swan Swims So Bonny Oh

Aphrodite

Here's a few of my most recent pieces.

Blessings and love! <3

Great news! Plus, a discussion.

I have a client! It's very exciting. A lovely girl is wanting a portrait of herself and her boyfriend for their 2 year anniversary. It's an interesting journey for several reasons. Reason one is that I've finally buckled down and given very specific constraints for the commissioner. It's not an aggressive or negative attitude, it's the reality of trying to make money with artwork. I told her my pricing, which right now is 15 dollars an hour, and I told her that I must retain full artistic control over the concept, imaging, and style, as I see fit. Because otherwise I become "tied down" and creative blockages form as I'm trying to manipulate what others want. Of course if I feel drawn to get input from the client (which I have and will continue to do so) that is fine because it's within the spectrum of my intuitive flow of the art.

In the past I've tried to fit every desire of the commissioner to with fairly satisfying result to them..  but usually the art is lifeless in my eyes. Art to me is not just making "pretty pictures" I think perhaps when I was a bit younger this was a goal, but of course I'd not been as developed in my art several years ago. Getting hung up on making something just visually pleasing is easy for a young person to do. But that's not solely what I want my art to do now.

I want my art to touch, give joy, to make people think, and to bring growth in others. Even if I'm being commissioned. It's an interesting business attitude, because we live in a society where in business, "the customer is always right." and while that might work for many fields, and even more commercial branches of art..

I think that in my specific niche (which I'm still trying to find, and carve, by the way) my goal is not to simply provide the customer with something they want. It's to provide them with something they didn't know they wanted. And, in honesty, and bit of trepidation in this statement, if someone is asking for a piece of artwork they probably can't create one themselves. So of course they're, usually, not going to have the "eye" that the artist has worked hard to hone, and establish. Luckily people usually understand this when they ask me specifically for an artwork, much to my relief.

Oh, and let me explain why I felt nervous about the previous statement. I felt, and still do feel uneasy, because all of my life I've tried to keep the attitude that I am not "great" or even "good" at what I do. And while I'm definitely, most certainly not on any artistic level of greatness, I am not simply a doodler, or a scribbler. I have worked hard to learn how to draw and create. And everyday (if possible) I continue to learn and practice and teach myself so I can progress. So, my art does have worth that I'm afraid to assign to it. After reading the wonderful words of the artist Patricia Ariel, who you MUST check out atwww.patricia-ariel.com ! She's definitely a driving inspiration to me since I discovered her. And her words have resonated with me, she's given me a new confidence that I can be successful, I just have to be clever about it, and not sell myself short!

Anyway.. I've rambled enough, I'll be off my friends! I'll update soon on this and other projects! Hecate is still pretty much the same as she was when I last posted here. I for sure will be getting my watercolors this Thursday, but I'm not going to look forward to it because it just saps energy IF they don't arrive!


Love, light, darkness, and blessings. <3

Just for fun, here's one of my first watercolors from a few years ago.  It is the goddess Morrigan. I thought it'd be interesting to post since, I'll be trying watercolors again.. :D 

"Freeing The Soul"

I've been in creative limbo since I've not yet received my watercolors.. I can't even begin to describe how much I'm wanting to use them! I'm so excited!! But... patience, I must tell myself. 

Instead of doing nothing while I wait, I thought it'd be a good idea to get some new projects underway. I'll have to eventually, and I am very inspired lately! So I really have no choice. Hecate is still as you last saw her and she'll stay that way until I can paint. 

I have began the conception of a new piece though! It seems controversial in my head, although, really.. it's not. 

The back story is.. 

I am friends with the librarian at my university, and recently her husband left this earthly plane. So I've been wanting to create something for her to show my condolences. Ever since she saw my art she seems to like it so I am excited to present her with something! Although I'm also very nervous, because it was born out of such a tragic event.

My granny who's husband, my beloved granddad, passed away several months ago told me I should draw a picture of my librarian's husband. When I told her "I couldn't do that" she said "Ok! Well draw!" she's always urging me to practice and I'm so grateful for her interest.. anyway I digress. 

I never got to explain why I couldn't draw her husband. But I will here. I don't want to draw her husband, firstly because I'm sure she has multitudes of photos of him, so in a practical way it's just not interesting to reproduce a photo. In the more emotional, spiritual sense, I don't want to draw those who've passed because I feel that it connects the concept of their passing with the image, so whenever it's seen, it just awakens that sadness that could be felt. Perhaps that doesn't make much sense to others. But to me it does.

My painting will be of a woman releasing a butterfly.  This is the basic concept. Here's a beginning study. It'll surely change a lot before the final incarnation. 

I apologize for the bad quality, it was taken with a webcam. The whole thing is 11x14 inches. This will hopefully be a very stirring piece when finished, but I can't really plan that. I just hope people understand what  I'm trying to convey.

The butterfly is a symbol of the soul in many cultures, so that was a simple choice for me to make. They also represent freedom, and metamorphosis, due to their cycles in which they transform from caterpillars into the beautiful faeries they become! I much like that as a metaphor for human growth and transition. After much learning, reflection and meditation we (caterpillars) metamorphose into enlightened beings (butterflies). Also, the butterfly's life could represent death and rebirth. Although we know they don't die per se, they enter into their temporary chrysalis and after time emerge alive and beautiful! So to me the butterfly also represents the Soul's ascension to the afterlife and transformation into a new being. The woman's face is peaceful, but not overly emotive. The eyes closed, representing contentment, and slumber. The slumber at the end of a cycle. 

Most importantly I hope it brings my friend comfort. That's my wish. 

Thank you for reading!

Have a blessed day! <3 

Hecate: A work in progress.. contd.

Here is where the drawing is a its latest. I've deepened shadows and blended certain parts. Once again trying not to overwork everything. Sometimes less is more. And this is what art is helping to teach me. Although I'm definitely not a good student! haha!

I added a little owl, moon, some stuff you can't see well (I'll just leave that to the imagination until it's done). All in all I think this is coming together ok. Better than I expected anyay! :)

And I will be off now, to add a few more touches. After I'm finally done with this portion of the drawing, the fun comes! Assuming I ever get my watercolours in the mail. :) Patience.. :D

Blessings all! <3

Hecate a work in progress.

Hi everyone! I will, hopefully, be blogging about my art quite a bit so I thought I'd get the ball rolling!

I am working on a mixed media project for a friend who wanted to buy a series of pieces depicting three goddesses that she is closest to. Hecate was the first we decided upon.

I'll go more into the spiritual aspects of Hecate in future another posts, when I finish the piece. It will be more cohesive when all of the elements come together.

Here is the first incarnation of the drawing. She's pretty sketchy here, I was trying to figure out how to draw her face, body shape, etc. Drawings always seem funny in the beginning stages. Mine do at least.

Here is the second, I wanted to portray Her as a guide, since that is Her most common attribute. The hand holding the torch was very frustrating to manipulate because, admittedly, I'm not the best hand person. I used to "hide" them in drawings all the time instead of actually drawing them so they lagged a bit when the rest of my art progressed. But I am actually fairly happy with the way these hands turned out! I also added more drapery-ness, and She has hair now! :D

Here is the third part of my process. I've began shading now. This is always a "make or break" phase in an artwork. It's always the most tedious because I'm very picky and overwork things easily, which is never good. However, I'm quite pleased with where this was. I had to keep in mind that a torchlight was going to be on one side of Her body so that was a challenge. Typically when I draw I use a "generic" light placement. Where ever shadows look good they go. But with this drawing since I have an obvious light source I wanted to try to keep some realism. I add shading to Her hands and arms, and face deepening the wrinkles that an elderly person has, or should have.. unless you're Joan Rivers! ;)

I'll cover more progress later! It's storming now, and my comp will be off shortly!

Love and Light! <3 

A long Hearstory of my ear.

I was only 10 at the time, but I remember everything very well. I had a disgusting green-yellow fluid coming out of my right ear, and it smelled horrible. This went on for quite a while until we paid a visit to my doctor. He gave instruction to my parents to wash my ear out with a solution of vinegar and peroxide. This would, allegedly, solve the problem.

Or perhaps it would have had my problem not been in later development. Of course we didn't know anything was very serious at the time so I would have my ear cleansed with the strong smelling liquid everyday, to no avail. The drainage never left.

So I was sent to a specialist about an hour away. He told us that my eardrum had collapsed due to a condition called Cholesteatoma. It causes a small tumor to form on the eardrum for whatever reason, usually a tear or something can cause it. We were a little freaked out, but I don't remember being very worried, which is odd, because I do remember being a worrisome kid. Maybe I was just relieved to know what was wrong.

The doctor, who's name I can't remember, sent us to a specialist surgeon in Little Rock at the Children's Hospital, Dr. Dornhoffer. I'm pretty sure that's how it's spelled.. Anyway I remember how excited I was to get better and the hospital was great, everyone was friendly and considerate, and very careful to keep such a young person comfortable, and calm. I wish adult hospitals took so much care! Maybe I'm just overly sensitive.

I'll skip to the surgery. It wasn't bad, I remember my mom and I crying a little when they talked to us before hand about the procedure, and how I'd have to have a breathing tube. I'm not sure why, but that alarmed me and I cried. Also, I remember being paranoid about the doctors seeing my legs; I was/am weird.

The procedure was fairly straightforward, apparently, I had an incision made down the back of my ear where it connects to the skull, and the doctors go in and remove the tumor, and installed a new eardrum and a prosthesis where my Eustachian tube was, I think. Honestly I can't remember exactly what they did in my ear. Although I've had the surgery three times.. or two.. I know two, for sure.

It's funny how memories blend. Especially when something is repeated. In any case. The recovery time was two weeks, and I had to be fairly still, which was hard for a hyperactive imaginative kid. But I did a pretty good job.

Skip to several years later, I'm 19 and I'm still able to hear! Which I'm grateful for. Ever so grateful. I do experience pain in my ears with even semi loud sounds, and I have to wear earplugs almost constantly, especially if I'm in a situation where I have to speak up, or others are speaking. I also, have a problem with "popping" and pressure, and other weird sensations in my ears, my right moreso than my left. But I can hear. So I'm grateful.

It's funny to me how many people take their senses for granted though. I know so many people that do damaging things to their ears, and their eyes.

I think that people assume that they're obligated to have perfect perception from all of their organs their entire lives so they don't take care of them when they should. Anyway..  just some words some me. :)

Weird.. no such thing.

Perhaps this is just me trying to spit out a post, because I hate having an empty blog. Well it is... but I also, wanted to share a little secret that you should, if you're not, be aware of.

No one is weird. Nothing is weird. Nothing is anything. Everything is subjective, but even that's up for debate.

Have a blessed day! <3 :)